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Dec. 22nd, 2009

put up rain

A Quiz for a New Year

Year End Survey (stolen from Lemmie)

1) Was 2009 a good year for you?
It was. My life has changed so much. But It's been good.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?
RJ making everything official.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?
All the crazy drama and fights. Leaving

4) Where were you when 2009 began?
Providence! As always!

5) Who were you with?
I actually WASN'T with Liz, I think that made this year 2, but I had an awesome party with Kayla, Jessica, Jay, RJ (who I wish things had been different with) we stopped by Caitlyn's for a while too.

6) Where will you be when 2009 ends?
I'm not sure! Prollllly Providence

7) Who will you be with when 2007 ends?
RJ, and that's all I really care about.

8) What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I flew in a plane all by myslef

9) Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make them >insert argument here<

10) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope

11) Did anyone close to you die?
Tairi

12) Did you travel outside of the US in 2009?
No

13) How many different states did you travel to in 2009?
Alot. MA, RI, CT, NY, NJ, VA, FL, KY, IL, MO, KS, NC, SC, GE, WV, DE, MD, OH, IN, PA

14) What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Stability

15) What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Feb with RJ, All thr roadtrips. I can never forget.

16) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Living without my mom

17) What was your biggest failure?
not living with Nik

18) Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Not really.

19) What was the best thing you bought?
Ummm Yazmin?

21) Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Doris, RJ, Dennis I've been very good this year!

22) Where did most of your money go?
food, gas, my car

23) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Being with my man, everyday. WoW

24) What song will always remind you of 2009?
Emilie Autumn, and ohh. . . ANYTHING by Lady Gaga(overdid it on the roadtrips)

25) Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? a little of both, depends on the day, this time last year I was confused.
ii. thinner or fatter? I would love to say thinner, but I doubt it's true
iii. richer or poorer? way poorer

26) What do you wish you'd done more of?
Work

27) What do you wish you'd done less of?
Ummmm, fighting

28) How will you be spending Christmas?
With my boyfriend's family? With friends? I'm not really sure yet.

29) Did you fall in love in 2009?
I had already been there, but I got to act on it.

30) If yes, with who?
My wonderful boyfriend *

31) If yes, do they know?
I think so, it's one of those beyond words things.

32) Are you still in love with them?
Absolutely. I have been for a long time

33a) You regret it?
Why is this 33a? No. I don't.

33b) Do they love you back?
I think so

34) Did you breakup with anyone in 2009?
nope

35) How many one-night stands?
None.

37) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Yes, actually.

38) Did you make any new friends in 2009?
Yes I did. I would say Sammie.

39) Who are your favorite new friends?
I'm not listing them

40) What was your favorite month of 2007?
FEB

41) Did you miss anybody in the past year?
Always

42) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
Nope, I don't really get ashamed, or embarrassed, and this I was particularly good this year. I have a boyfriend I adore and everything is great.

43) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2009?
I'm not sure! I haven't had to deal with that lately!

44) Did you treat somebody badly in 2009?
I might have. But I don't think I meant to

45) Did somebody treat you badly in 2009?
I wish someone could have had a little more faith in me, but no I wouldn't say badly at all.

46) What was your proudest moment of 2009?
Looking at my kid.

47) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2007?
I dunno, I don't really have them

48) What was your greatest musical discovery?
EA

49) What did you want and get?
Just about everything

50) What did you want and not get?
A peircing, and a DSi, but . . . Christmas is coming! LOL

51) What was your favorite new film of this year?
Hrrrrm. . . . I liked alot of them - I liked hangover.

52) What was your favorite TV program?
Metalocolyse

53) What was your favorite record from 2009?
Made in 2009? Lady Gaga

54) How many concerts did you see in 2009?
2 or 3? They were all great though

55) Did you have a favorite concert in 2009?
I think I liked the ummm wth was it? Like a metalfest, hosted by jager.

56) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?
Meh. . . not really. Maybe more than other years though.

57) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2009?
When my mom had Nik in IL, I had some fun, but it's been over since the summer ended.

58) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22 and didn't really do anything, but my BF got my the whole guitar-hero band set! That was awesome.

59) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Mom not moving? But I'm glad she did. i dunno. Rj being less insecure.

60) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Same as always, but starting to get back to my roots

61) What/who kept you sane?
My computer, >RJ< , My BFFs

62) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
>.> EA prolly.

63) How much money did you spend in 2009?
Not too much. Never really had much.

64) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:
Real life sucks. Live with your mom, and get through school

65) What are your plans for 2009?
Make sure my baby is living good.

66) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Nov. 20th, 2009

yep

A friend of mine found this. . . couldn't resist

There are so many analogies. . I can't even begin. I was going to pull some apart, but well. . I'll let it do it's own talking. It just. . doesn't even being to make sense.


oh, and if you like your men to sparkle? . . . this is for you

[Unknown LJ tag]



and if you can make it though that . . .





and for fun someone who put it together for us ^.^



*picture found from a google search while I was trying to find the title of the book*
http://open.salon.com/blog/verbal_remedy/2009/03/12/purple_prose_the_spikenard-bronwyn_challenge
Which by the way is SILK AND STEEL, by RON MILLER

Nov. 15th, 2009

put up rain

NaNoWriMo

I need somewhere to throw all my links for my project. ^.^

So here it is, after I'm done-ish, and a litte more edited I'm going to throw my novel here a chapter at a time too.

>.< BTW. . . Historical fiction about Bathory. . I know I know. . .

General Links
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_B%C3%A1thory
http://bathory.org/shyla.html
http://www.abacom.com/~jkrause/bathory.html
http://www.weird-encyclopedia.com/Bathory-Elizabeth.php
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A593084
http://www.whataslacker.com/backdoor/elizabeth_bathory/
http://www.nndb.com/people/263/000112924/
http://vampires.monstrous.com/erzsebet_bathory.htm
http://www.istrianet.org/istria/legends/vampires/bathory.htm
http://www.scribd.com/doc/2579356/Elizabeth-Bathory
http://royalwomen.tripod.com/id40.html

Places
http://www.sarvar.hu/index.php?base=sights&type=item&id=29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Byt%C4%8Da
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C4%8Cachtice_Castle
http://www.slovakheritage.org/Castles/cachtice.htm

Clothing
http://joechip.net/liana/archives/cat_paperdolls.html
http://joechip.net/liana/
http://images.google.com/images?q=16th+century+clothing&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=FYD_SqzKHIv8nAeI3fUQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CBcQsAQwAA
http://www.lepg.org/women.htm
http://www.costumes.org/classes/fashiondress/16thCent.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1550%E2%80%931600_in_fashion

Other
http://www.brown.edu/Departments/Italian_Studies/dweb/society/sex/heat-coldness.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:RWS_Tarot_02_High_Priestess.jpg

Sep. 3rd, 2009

friend lov

Some things have come to my attention

1) That I intensely miss writing, and this whole journal! ::SMACK:: What has happened to my poor, dear, poetic soul?

which brings me in turn to point

2) No update in 7 months??? I thought to myself. . "what have I been doing for the past 7 months??" LMAO >.< Of course. I have been with RJ,(for exactly 7 months) Not a bad thing, but there has been alot going on at the same time.

3) I feel ready to fuel myself on all that has been going on, and get back to business.

4) There is no way (in hell) that I have posted everything I have written. SO I'm off to find more notebooks and post some more of my past
Tags:

Aug. 28th, 2009

rainbow

Sometimes - From time to time

(sometimes) From time to time
it takes a sheet of paper,
for anyone to know what's on my mind
in any form besides a whisper.

I've never been very good with words,
and I feel so vulnerable when I cry. . .
But when everything is spiraling downwards,
I'd do anything not to say goodbye.

I've found myself more in love
with you than I care to admit.
Making myself miserable is something I'm not above,
but being with you has made me want to quit.

When I think about me and you,
it's like it's meant to be.
But it seems to me that you don't have a clue,
and I'm not sure how to make you see clearly.

There is no place that could be better.
There is no-one I want more.
I smile while while thinking, and writing every letter,
your something I can't ignore.

I know you've been hurt before,
everyone has their own story.
I'm sorry if I've made you a bit unsure,
but please stop judging me so brashly.


~And the note. . . because you know there always is one. . .~
(I've never done anything to hurt you - I can't promise I won't in the future, but I can promise that I won't lie to you about it)

Jan. 7th, 2009

put up rain

This Thing

This thing I've always wanted,
this thing I've always had,
this thing I've always hidden -
because they considered it bad.

Laid perfectly between us,
I put this thing to rest,
until one day you found it,
and put me to the test.

How could I deny it
when I'd held on for so long?
How could I deny it
when I wanted it all along?

This thing I've always wanted,
this thing I've always had,
this thing I've always hidden -
because they considered it bad.

As time continued on
I learned some truth.
This thing is a part of me,
not just a 'phase' of youth.

And still I held onto this thing
too afraid to let you in.
Too afraid of what they'd say,
but in the end I let it win.

This thing I've always wanted,
this thing I've always had,
this thing I've always hidden -
because they considered it bad.

This thing I've held,
it's made for two.
This thing, I found -
it's my love for you.

So hold my hand
and we'll face it all.
We'll fight every obstacle,
and we'll never fall.

Your this thing I've always wanted,
this attraction I've always had,
this love no longer hidden -
is anything but bad.
Tags: ,

Dec. 16th, 2008

put up rain

Opheliac

I’m your Opheliac
I’ve been so disillusioned
I know you’d take me back
But still I feign confusion
I couldn’t be your friend
My world was to unstable
You might have seen the end
But you were never able
To keep me breathing
As the water rises up again
Before I slip away

You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way
You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and I say I can’t stay
You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me
When everything and everyone becomes my enemy
And when there’s nothing more you can do I’m gona blame it on you
It’s not the way I wana be
I only know that in the end you will see it’s the Opheliac in me…

It’s the Opheliac in me…

Im your Opheliac
My stalkings prove my virtue
I’m open to attack
But I don’t want to hurt you (hurt you)
Whether I swim or sink
That’s no concern of yours now
How could you possibly think
You had the power to know how to keep me breathing as the water rises up again
Before I slip away

You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way
You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and I say I can’t stay
You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me
When everything and everyone becomes my enemy
And when there’s nothing more you can do I’m gona blame it on you
It’s not the way I wana be
I only hope that in the end you will see it’s the Opheliac in me…
It’s the Opheliac in me

Studies show intelligent girls are more depressed
Because they know
That the world can lie
I don’t think for a bit they sit around and think every things gona be alright
They know who: sides, shadows; shapes, a devil, an angel; no in-between
She speaks in third person so that she can forget that she’s me
Doubt thou the stars on fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt

Doubt thou the stars on fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt

Doubt thou the stars on fire
Doubt thou the sun doth move
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt
I love

You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way
You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and I say I cant stay

You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me
When everything and everyone becomes my enemy
And when there’s nothing more you can do I’m gona blame it on you
It’s not the way I wana be
I only hope that in the end you will see
But never doubt
You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way
You know the lies I tell when you’ve gone through hell and I say I can’t stay
You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me
When everything and everyone becomes my enemy
And when there’s nothing more you can do I’m gona blame it on you
It’s not the way I wana be
I only hope that in the end you will see
Tags:

Nov. 22nd, 2008

friend lov

words

You want someone to hurt like you
You want to share what you've been through



I can't seem to see your face anymore
I see different shadows
but it's not like it was before
somethings different
I'm not sure how it will affect us
I find myself running in circles
my goal is to protect us
but I'm not sure how I feel
not sure if it's still important
everything I know is gone
everything I felt I was - shattered
how am I supposed to be there for you
why is it on me? 
can't you hear my silent screams
can't you see my invisible scars
they are there right under the surface
waiting for you to notice, waiting for the mental click

time won't heal this
time makes things worse
drags things out
makes things stale

Oct. 5th, 2008

put up rain

Hating the day

I love his smell, his arms around me
I love his kisses
I love his hands on my hips, edging me closer every second.

I love his way of talking, and getting lost inside his eyes

But I seem to know every second seems more and more a lie

I hate how this will never work
I hate how I will cry
I hate how I will think of it, lying awake at night
Tags: ,

Jul. 10th, 2008

strangers

YEAY!

update to all my journals!!

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